Untitled

By:

i beat my wings against my prison bars,
futile to escape.
how much my wings ache,
how weak my bones-
the marrow liquid and thin,
but i press onward,
never will i give up.
never will i let go of what you have done to me.
my chest is empty,
devoid of my heart-
i've given it to you.
you've locked it away,
holding it at arm's length,
afraid to absorb it,
afraid to make a fair trade-
a heart for a heart.
the pain weakens my knees,
flutters in my ribcage,
a solitary bird of hope.
i cannot ever explain how deeply the
veins run that tie me to you,
my blood mingles with yours
in the rain,
in my tears i long to shed,
swimming behind my drifting eyes,
feeling like death and yet hurting,
knowing i am alive.
i can have you but cannot have you,
hold you but never know you,
kiss your empty lips,
hold your empty hand,
cracking a grin
but knowing you despise my weakness.
your faults aren't existent
in my mind,
you are absolutely,
utterly perfect.
my shining star,
my helios of the sun,
my bringer of all sunshine.
without you what
meaning would i have,
to smile,
to laugh,
to turn my glowing face up towards the sun,
and realize what pure and unbelievable happiness is.
you take my breath away;
is beauty such as yours even possible?
such godliness,
such whole tangible flesh
that i grasp for,
for reassurance.
i long to release
the bird in my grasp,
my clutching hands,
stained with my heart's sorrow,
blood of another soul.
white light echoes in my ears,
the bird struggles to be free,
but knowing it will kill
what i hold most pure,
i refuse it's pleas for release.
never
never
never
will you know,
will i tell you,
will you ever suspect,
will you see in my eyes,
behind all that heartfelt pain,
behind the walls of lies,
behind the shield of fear-
my adoration.

i search your depths for some balm
to heal my own hurt,
i plead for relent,
a weakening in the iron will.
i ache,
i fortify,
i arm myself,
i plead,
i reach,
i run away,
i walk alone.
bear the courage,
waiting in the dusk for you,
my moon,
my sun,
my wish,
my dream,
the only true thing in my fallen world.